i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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