They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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