If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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