Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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