It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
