If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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