The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
