I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
