to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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