Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
