Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
