I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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