he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
