Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
