First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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