I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize