Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize