Plan B is the new Plan A
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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