there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
