I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Found the puke drawer
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
