Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
