I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
