no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
