i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
