They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
