He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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