You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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