Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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