I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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