i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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