I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
