i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
