I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
