I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
