ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i drank out of a bidet.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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