i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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