Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
