I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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