At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
