you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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