Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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