It's Friday. Sex?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
