i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
