I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
