You made me cry and you don't even care
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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