It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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