You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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