Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
