Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
