he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
