so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
why do cheetos always look like penises
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
