i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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