He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize