bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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