She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize