Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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