i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
