Only a mothe r could love this liver
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
