you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
