right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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