you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
