He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize